Monday, January 28, 2008

Blog 1- Where am I?


“Were am I?” I asked my self, one minute I’m a plane with all my friends and next minute I’m on some sort of island. I'm scared, is there any one here, am I the only one, when am I going to see my family, friends? My lips started to quiver “don’t cry, don’t cry” I said. I thought to my self-maybe I should go and explore go look for people maybe my friends are looking for me too. I kept walking and walking when I got to a small hill I thought that maybe every one else was on the other side so I ran up, but the smile on my face got taken by a frown. There was nothing there except for a lagoon , so I decided to wash my face off there I was very dirty! After I cleaned my self off I started to walk more to see what I could see and I was getting a little hungry so I was hoping I could find some thing to eat, and suddenly my wish come true I found a coconut right in front of me I picked it off the ground but there was a little problem I really didn't know how to open it. I looked around and I saw this huge rock so I decided to throw the coconut towards it so it can break. I throw it the first time it didn’t work I throw it again a it pops open!!! I was so excited I devoured that coconut really fast I was a super hungry. I was starting to get the hang about being alone it wasn’t so bad and it was really relaxing too. Suddenly I hear a really loud sound it was like a horn, I started to fallow the sound it got closer and closer. Next thing i know every one was there all my friends Tim, Mathew, Michael, Tony every one was there, there was so much clamor that they couldn’t hear me shouting there names but when I got to them we were all happy to see each other again. We were all going to talk about what we did when this kid started talking he said that his name was Ralph and that he was the guy that reunited us with a small conch that he had in his hands. Ralph looked really vain but I speculated him he couldn't have gathered all of us just by him self, but then I saw I little fat boy that was right next to him and I knew that he also helped because he look really proud of him self too. There was sort of a difference between Ralph and the little fat boy the little fat boy looked like he deserved more of the finding of the conch and he also help to gather us but people are mostly thanking Ralph because he’s basically the one that is only talking about what he wants to do and how he found the conch so I really don’t think that is fair. But Ralph talked and talked and it got to the point were we had to pick whom we wanted for our leader it was between Ralph and another kid named Jack. Jack was a bully he always played dirty tricks on my friends and me so I pick Ralph. We were all jumbled up so it was really hard to count the votes. Ralph won and I was glad he won I can tell you that for sure, they they announced who was leader. Then Ralph, Jack and a few other boys went to hunt while the rest of us stayed here. My friends and me were just talking about the little adventures we had that day.

4 comments:

Emma Christenfeld said...

Brianna-
Where is entry 2? You need to do some spellchecking. I noticed some errors but all trivial. Great job. I look forward to reading blog 2.

Nixon said...

weres blog two girl, i liked how you started your blog i could see you about two cry and looking freaked out in the middle of a forest

Karen said...

I liked how you described this sentence
"don’t cry, don’t cry” I said.
It sounds like you included yourself in this sentence.

Mr. Shaddox said...

Briana,

You aptyly described the action from the first chapter. I enjoyed reading it from your perspective.

REVISION ASSIGNMENT: I'd like you to examine the three sentences below. They're full of great information and details. However, they're run-on sentences. Please rewrite them and break them into smaller sentences.

1. I kept walking and walking when I got to a small hill I though that maybe every one else was on the other side so I ran up but the smile on my face got taken by a frown there was nothing there except for a lagoon so I decided to wash my face off there I am very dirty!

2. After I cleaned my self off I started to walk more to see what I could and I was getting a little hungry so I’m hoping I find some thing to eat, and suddenly my wish come true I found a coconut right in front of me I picked it off the ground but there was a little problem I really don’t know how to open it.

3. Suddenly I hear a really loud sound it was like a horn, I started to fallow the sound it got closer and closer I was I knew it every one was there all my friends Tim, Mathew, Michael, Tony every one was there, there was so much clamor that they couldn’t hear me shouting there names but when I got to them we were all happy to see each other again.